Life in the Dreamcrusher

This is my first posting in the blogosphere. I admit, I really don't know much about it, but as information flows so freely, by the end of today I will be a SME (Subject Matter Expert). I've been living with my wife in Hollywood now for going on nine months. It has not caught me off guard, but that does not make anything easier. I have never ever felt more worthless, poor and unimportant as I have here. Hollywood moves like atoms in extreme heat, chaotic and rapid and in a million directions. I know trying to become an actor is a longshot, but my wife and I agreed that we would just buy all of our perverbial lotto tickets all at once instead of spreading them a dollar at a time over the course of our lives. I know I am a performer and so far I have performed less in Hollywood than I have any other place I have lived or worked, including my time in the army.

I feel equally guilty that i have subjected my wife (Lesli) to this place. She is an idealist with the best expectations out of humanity. She attended film school and is a quite creative, intelligent and competent editor. We have a 'contact' out here who edits in the big leauges and still, she has edited nothing except our finances. Worse yet, she got a 'temp' job (it is a permenant job that offers no benefits) working on the even uglier underbelly of this industry; the dirty world of entertainment law. Real time communication and constant availability speeds work beyond the scope of any who let it and her boss is in overdrive most of the day, briefly stopping only to complain that her latest piece of computer hardware simply 'isn't working.'

I've spent over 500$, to date on parking/moving violations here and I am a good driver. I have insurance (which literally tripled when when we moved here from Colorado [an expensive state] *after* we raised our deductables higher than we could ever pay) and normally obey the law. I would like to petition right now that moving violations should affect people perportionally to their wage. The 350$ 'run the red light photo' cost me about 2% of my yearly earnings, I think it should do the same thing to Bill Gates if he ran a red light. Man roads would be great then.

More rants as they evolve. More info as it happens. Hello blogosphere.